How's your day going? I haz a happy and I don't know why but I'm claiming and embracing the heck out of it!
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Sometimes it's hard to focus - there are so many things to be done! - and it may start to feel overwhelming. We start to wonder if we're just not cut out for it (whatever it may be).
Maybe I'm just not meant to be a ...
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Instead of beating ourselves up for not being the perfect everything we should slow down and breathe. Not even our favorite all-in-one, multifunction printer/scanner/fax/copier machines can do EVERY task at once!
Look at everything that needs to be done. Pick a task to start with and go from there.
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Maybe I'm just not meant to be a ...
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- Homeschooler
- Work-at-Home Mom
- Work-Away-From-Home Mom
- Proverbs 31 Woman
- Stock Investor
- (Add Your Other Hats Here)
Instead of beating ourselves up for not being the perfect everything we should slow down and breathe. Not even our favorite all-in-one, multifunction printer/scanner/fax/copier machines can do EVERY task at once!
Look at everything that needs to be done. Pick a task to start with and go from there.
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Jeez. I really hate being a whineypants. It makes me mad at myself. Yet, what is a personal blog for if I can't vent now and then, right?
So, yeah, here goes:
Mommy hormones are making me emotional but I work from home so I'm here a lot. A lot of people think it means I don't do anything so I should have the house immaculate, all meals made from scratch, the kids tended to perfectly, and should be able to graciously accept visitors at any hour of the day because, you know, I'm bored.
Oh yes, I'm also a go-to babysitter for emergencies and sick children because - again - I "do nothing" at home.
Really, now. Imagine doing your job while your kids make noise, people drop by, the laundry is going, the dinner is cooking, the house needs cleaning, and you haven't even changed out of your jammies yet so you don't even feel prepared to face the world at all!
My God. If the people ridiculing me say they see me online "all the time", doesn't that mean THEY are online "all the time" too? So exactly how much "work" are they getting done, hmmm?
RAWR. It just gets my goat!
As for the relationship, oh my God. Do.Not.Even.Get.Me.Started. I knew marriage wasn't going to be a walk in the park but this is absofreakin ridiculous!
God, spouse, kids, family, friends. That was my thinking. What I got is ex-wife, stepkids, husband, husband's friends, husband's family, maybe God, maybe me, maybe the baby, and eventually maybe my son, CJ.
Not acceptable. Not acceptable at all. It's not what I signed up for. Not what I was promised.
Then I stop to think, we're all imperfect creatures, he says we'll fix things, I say okay because damn it, we're married already and have a baby. Like a damn idiot.
So I'm changing things. Slowly but surely. Slowly because my mind and my soul are having a hard time accepting that I was stupid. I was lied to. I was used. By someone I grew up with. Someone who knows my story and my family's history.
The lies he's told about me. The way his peeps mock me. Jerks! It's on! It's time to put on the Big Girl Panties and bust out the can of whoopass.
Step 1: Start making more money. As a Virtual Assistant, as a blogger, as a writer, as whatever. Independence comes to those who can support themselves and their children.
Step 2: Implement a Life Plan. It doesn't matter if I don't hit all the goals or the goals change. It matters that I start taking the steps to be happy. For myself. For my kids.
Why should my children grow up thinking they have to settle for anything less than true happiness, peace, joy, love, and a good life with a good, honest spouse?
To paraphrase Jim Carrey in The Mask: Looks like Momma's gotta go kick some ass!
So, yeah, here goes:
I'm a weepy, sad mess and it's all my fault.It's my fault because I'm not changing what I should because I don't want to accept things aren't working out the way I wanted. I don't want to accept there is no happily-ever-after. I don't want to accept that I can't do all the things I used to, the way I used to, as fast as I used to. I have a baby. Things are different. My c-sectioned body is different.
Mommy hormones are making me emotional but I work from home so I'm here a lot. A lot of people think it means I don't do anything so I should have the house immaculate, all meals made from scratch, the kids tended to perfectly, and should be able to graciously accept visitors at any hour of the day because, you know, I'm bored.
Oh yes, I'm also a go-to babysitter for emergencies and sick children because - again - I "do nothing" at home.
Really, now. Imagine doing your job while your kids make noise, people drop by, the laundry is going, the dinner is cooking, the house needs cleaning, and you haven't even changed out of your jammies yet so you don't even feel prepared to face the world at all!
My God. If the people ridiculing me say they see me online "all the time", doesn't that mean THEY are online "all the time" too? So exactly how much "work" are they getting done, hmmm?
RAWR. It just gets my goat!
As for the relationship, oh my God. Do.Not.Even.Get.Me.Started. I knew marriage wasn't going to be a walk in the park but this is absofreakin ridiculous!
God, spouse, kids, family, friends. That was my thinking. What I got is ex-wife, stepkids, husband, husband's friends, husband's family, maybe God, maybe me, maybe the baby, and eventually maybe my son, CJ.
Not acceptable. Not acceptable at all. It's not what I signed up for. Not what I was promised.
Then I stop to think, we're all imperfect creatures, he says we'll fix things, I say okay because damn it, we're married already and have a baby. Like a damn idiot.
So I'm changing things. Slowly but surely. Slowly because my mind and my soul are having a hard time accepting that I was stupid. I was lied to. I was used. By someone I grew up with. Someone who knows my story and my family's history.
The lies he's told about me. The way his peeps mock me. Jerks! It's on! It's time to put on the Big Girl Panties and bust out the can of whoopass.
Step 1: Start making more money. As a Virtual Assistant, as a blogger, as a writer, as whatever. Independence comes to those who can support themselves and their children.
Step 2: Implement a Life Plan. It doesn't matter if I don't hit all the goals or the goals change. It matters that I start taking the steps to be happy. For myself. For my kids.
Why should my children grow up thinking they have to settle for anything less than true happiness, peace, joy, love, and a good life with a good, honest spouse?
To paraphrase Jim Carrey in The Mask: Looks like Momma's gotta go kick some ass!
Wishing you much peace, happiness, and success,
[su_quote cite="Psalm 35:11 (King James Bible)"]False witnesses did rise up; they laid to my charge things that I knew not.[/su_quote]
It hurts when someone continually casts you as the enemy, the villain in their life story, even though you have done nothing to them. No matter how far out of your way you go to bless them, to be there for them, they are making a repeated choice to believe negative things about you or want to push you out of their life.
You may be left in confusion, wondering - perhaps even flat out asking - why? Why do you treat me this way?
Maybe something about you may be rubbing them the wrong way or it could have nothing to do with you at all. Perhaps your presence requires them to act in a manner far different than they'd prefer. In other words, they were not being honest with you and not being themselves. Now they are trapped in a role they wear like a shrunken pair of wool pants.
We will not always get along with those around us but you may want to pray and seriously reconsider any relationship that refuses to acknowledge and accept the good in you. In the end, it doesn't matter why. What matters is that you are not being (and may not ever be) treated as the blessing you are.
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It hurts when someone continually casts you as the enemy, the villain in their life story, even though you have done nothing to them. No matter how far out of your way you go to bless them, to be there for them, they are making a repeated choice to believe negative things about you or want to push you out of their life.
You may be left in confusion, wondering - perhaps even flat out asking - why? Why do you treat me this way?
Maybe something about you may be rubbing them the wrong way or it could have nothing to do with you at all. Perhaps your presence requires them to act in a manner far different than they'd prefer. In other words, they were not being honest with you and not being themselves. Now they are trapped in a role they wear like a shrunken pair of wool pants.
We will not always get along with those around us but you may want to pray and seriously reconsider any relationship that refuses to acknowledge and accept the good in you. In the end, it doesn't matter why. What matters is that you are not being (and may not ever be) treated as the blessing you are.
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It's been a whirlwind year and a half but I'm back! From single mom to a 12 year old to married, +2 kids (14 and 10), and an almost miraculous conception. My baby girl is 4 months old now and I'm jumping back in to the mix.
Let's connect (or reconnect!) if we haven't already. :)
Penny's Empowerment Club | Empowering The Perfectly Imperfect Proverbs 31 Woman
http://pennysempowermentclub.com
http://facebook.com/PennysEmpowermentClub
http://twitter.com/PennyFull
CJ's Kids Club | Promoting Self-Confidence And Natural Learning Fun
http://cjskidsclub.com
http://facebook.com/CJsKidsClub
http://twitter.com/CJsKidsClub
Wishing you much peace, happiness, and success,
Pearl 'Penny' Lane-Soliz
Independent ItWorks Distributor
Pearl 'Penny' Lane-Soliz
Independent ItWorks Distributor
Many relationships run into trouble when they fail to honestly discuss and plan for the needs of a home business.
The partner who works outside the home may come home feeling tired and ready to rest - after all, they did their work for the day - but looks around and sees chaos. Children needing/wanting attention, housework left undone here and there, and their mate chattering about the joys and troubles of the day, seeking affection and assistance with it all.
It gets even worse when you add a home-based business into the mix. You've now added pressure to run a business and consistently create income. Things that normally involve more than one person or department.
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[su_pullquote]"It must be nice to stay home."
The stress and strain builds up every day with both sides may be thinking they are carrying the heavier load and could a better job than the other partner.[/su_pullquote]A traditionally employed parent's primary focus during work hours is the job they are paid to do. (Except for the times they are on social media like Facebook but that's an entirely different post.)
A stay-at-home parent's primary focus is the well-being of the children and upkeep of the home.
Meanwhile, most work-from-home business models force the work-from-home parent to choose between the kids and the home or the business. Often many times a day!
It can be hard emotionally, mentally, physically, and spiritually. Downright frustrating and tear inducing on one day, absolutely a praiseworthy effort on another:
The bad news is that there isn't an easy, one-family-fits-all answer. It all comes down to what you and your partner have chosen to focus on and what both of you think "the work day is done" means for the work-at-home parent.
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The partner who works outside the home may come home feeling tired and ready to rest - after all, they did their work for the day - but looks around and sees chaos. Children needing/wanting attention, housework left undone here and there, and their mate chattering about the joys and troubles of the day, seeking affection and assistance with it all.
It gets even worse when you add a home-based business into the mix. You've now added pressure to run a business and consistently create income. Things that normally involve more than one person or department.
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- A/R and Billing
You won't get very far if you can't manage your accounts receivable and accounts payable. An accountant can help you set your system up but you do need to know how to use it and how to read your reports. After all, overdue accounts won't collect themselves. - Content/Product/Service Development
Without a product or service to sell, you won't make any money. - Customer Service
Happy customers mean repeat business, referrals, and income. - Human Resources
The business may be too small to offer a benefits package but you do need to know when you can take time off and how much you actually get paid. Your accountant can help you determine how much tax and other deductions you should pay but it is up to you to stay on top of that. - Marketing and Advertising
You need to let potential clients know you exist and help craft the impression they have of you and what you do. - Technical Support
Tech helpers can become tech nightmares when gadgets stop working like they should and software starts glitching, losing important data. It needs to be fixed quickly so that you and your clients can get back to work. - Web Development
Your website is a living business card. Until it goes down or gets hacked. All that content you worked so hard to create needs to uploaded and properly formatted. It needs to be updated and kept secure.
Focus Is The Key
[su_pullquote]"It must be nice to stay home."
The stress and strain builds up every day with both sides may be thinking they are carrying the heavier load and could a better job than the other partner.[/su_pullquote]A traditionally employed parent's primary focus during work hours is the job they are paid to do. (Except for the times they are on social media like Facebook but that's an entirely different post.)
A stay-at-home parent's primary focus is the well-being of the children and upkeep of the home.
Meanwhile, most work-from-home business models force the work-from-home parent to choose between the kids and the home or the business. Often many times a day!
It can be hard emotionally, mentally, physically, and spiritually. Downright frustrating and tear inducing on one day, absolutely a praiseworthy effort on another:
- You've struggled with writer's block and are finally on a roll when the baby starts to cry.
- You need to record a tutorial or lead a live teleseminar but the older kids are happily running around, chatting and laughing loudly.
- You finally put out all those household fires - washed the dishes, got the laundry started, put the baby down for a nap - when the phone rings. It's a potential client but you still need to make sure the older kids eat a healthy lunch.
The bad news is that there isn't an easy, one-family-fits-all answer. It all comes down to what you and your partner have chosen to focus on and what both of you think "the work day is done" means for the work-at-home parent.
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Sometimes it sucks to think of how good what could have been looks compared to "what's meant to be". I think somehow it all turns out okay, we move on (what choice do we have?), and we find something else but every now and then ... there's that little twinge.
Why do things happen the way they do? If God gave us all free will, how can there be destiny, a "meant to be"? Why does it work out for someone else? Heavy questions I don't have an answer to and probably never will.
It's easy to talk about fate, destiny, and things being meant to be when we experience a positive, happy, and desirable outcome.
When hurtful things happen though, it can be hard to reconcile how a loving God would allow - even pre-ordain - our hurt. Does He seriously feel that we deserve to have a terrible thing happen to us?
If there is a plan for each of us, I don't think it is written in stone.
God gave us free will, which means we all have the opportunity to change what is/was planned for us. It also means we can directly and indirectly affect what happens to someone else.
It's that latter part that gets us into trouble more often than not because we usually can't see how our choices impact someone else until AFTER we've done or said whatever we did or said.
God does not hurt us on purpose or allow us to be hurt for no reason.
Like a good parent, it must pain Him to see how we behave sometimes but He knows He must let us all grow up, make our mistakes, and harness our free will to become independent individuals.
Sadly, that means that sometimes we will hurt someone or someone will hurt us. It's up to us to seek His comfort when we need it, to try to make amends with those we hurt when we make a mistake, and to strive to keep our hearts from growing hard. Easier said than done, I know.
All I can do - all I can tell you - is to just keep praying and believe that God will make things right somehow. That's what keeps me going when the hurts of my past come sucker punching me out of nowhere.
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Why do things happen the way they do? If God gave us all free will, how can there be destiny, a "meant to be"? Why does it work out for someone else? Heavy questions I don't have an answer to and probably never will.
It's easy to talk about fate, destiny, and things being meant to be when we experience a positive, happy, and desirable outcome.
When hurtful things happen though, it can be hard to reconcile how a loving God would allow - even pre-ordain - our hurt. Does He seriously feel that we deserve to have a terrible thing happen to us?
If there is a plan for each of us, I don't think it is written in stone.
God gave us free will, which means we all have the opportunity to change what is/was planned for us. It also means we can directly and indirectly affect what happens to someone else.
It's that latter part that gets us into trouble more often than not because we usually can't see how our choices impact someone else until AFTER we've done or said whatever we did or said.
God does not hurt us on purpose or allow us to be hurt for no reason.
Like a good parent, it must pain Him to see how we behave sometimes but He knows He must let us all grow up, make our mistakes, and harness our free will to become independent individuals.
Sadly, that means that sometimes we will hurt someone or someone will hurt us. It's up to us to seek His comfort when we need it, to try to make amends with those we hurt when we make a mistake, and to strive to keep our hearts from growing hard. Easier said than done, I know.
All I can do - all I can tell you - is to just keep praying and believe that God will make things right somehow. That's what keeps me going when the hurts of my past come sucker punching me out of nowhere.
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