Whether I drop kick him or hug him first still remains to be seen but quite honestly, my son needs a male in his life. More so since CJ's
No, I didn't fight the termination because, well, who wants a guy like that around? Dude tried to "help" me have a miscarriage when I wouldn't abort and left me for dead when I had a severe allergic reaction. He called
Anyway, as previously mentioned, my father believed some lies our jealous neighbors told. They said my mom had been with another man and I wasn't his. He didn't bother to verify any of this, in spite of knowing how these "women" were viewed by the general community.
When the court went to garnish his wages for child support, he swore up and down I wasn't his. The child support was reversed and my mom was forced to pay back ALL child support. Got to love the pre-DNA test days, huh?
When I was a tween, I tried finding him on my own. I started by called every person in the phone book with his last name in the place where he said he was from: San Antonio. I pestered the operators to give me all the numbers they had.
The only thing I learned was that there was no "Ralph Hennington" in San Antonio. Oh yeah, hospitals won't give you the name or number of their contractors either. My dad was welder who was working on the local hospital's elevator when he met my mom.
Let's not even get into the huge long distance bill I racked up!
Flash forward a decade and I've used the internet to track him down to the Dallas area. I never got the courage to call or find out if it really was him. What would I say? I threw the file away.
Now, I know I can find this person again. Much quicker than before this time. Would I have the guts to do it? Would I be able to remain calm and rational while all the times he could have been there flash through my head?
Fact remains, I lost my job in the economy and am a single mom with a son. I started a business and am struggling to juggle everything. I worry about my little boy. I really would love to have my dad around right now. If nothing more than to give me cheesy - but heartfelt - motivation.
Getting to know my half-brother would be cool too. He's 8 years older than I am and the only thing I know about him is that he has blue eyes like his mom's.
Ralph wasn't there for me when I needed him as a kid but maybe he can be here now? Or maybe I'll just get closure and be able to move on, knowing I did my part.
Wishing you much peace, happiness and success,
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